The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
