bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
