I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
