I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
