Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
