Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize