Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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