Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she pinky promised me she was 18
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
