that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
