So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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