I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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