it was like having sex with a tree stump
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
