I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
