windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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