Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize