I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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