you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
