I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
