It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
