You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
