Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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