Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
