yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
