a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
