remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize