I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you had me at cake vodka
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
