Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
