So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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