can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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