woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
