i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
they call him Oral-B. enough said
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
