didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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