The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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