I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
