His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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