Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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