Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
