Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
