In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
