Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize