Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The adults are the big ones right?
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