Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 609 share tweet
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
