I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
