You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
