so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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