is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
