Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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