I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
