I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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