hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
