Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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