What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize