Whatcha textin bout Willis?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
its liver damage thursday
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
