There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize