everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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