Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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