we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Randomize
