she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
