I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize