i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
